Chemistry, Love, Marriage and Everything

"Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon." My grandmother remarried when she was 77 years old. We all looked on in amazement as these two "oldsters" were transformed into "youngsters". Such is the transformative power of love. They had 10 very happy years together. We were very happy for them and grateful that they had been given this joy in their old age.

My son, the erstwhile baker, is also taking chemistry in high school. I wonder if he knows how closely chemistry and baking really are? You cannot bake a cake or bread without a chemical reaction. I bet even the beginning of creation is actually chemistry rather than physics - after all, the basic molecules, protons, neutrons, are really descriptions of chemistry at work. If you have ever baked cookies with children, you know how this goes. You end up with flour all over the place, and huge smiles on their faces!

Science is changing so fast today, that teachers can't keep up. Instead, they have come up with a very sensible solution - they teach the kids How to Learn. Where to look for the answers, and how to figure things out. Our church is like that, too. We do not take things on blind faith. We are encouraged to look for deeper meaning behind even the simplest of words. If we come to a priest with a question, we are almost never given a direct answer. We are guided where to look, and to find the answer ourselves. Everyone learns differently, and looking at the same thing, will get a different answer.

Our church was founded in the early 1920's, by a group of fairly young, radical free thinkers, who wanted to look at Christianity in a new way. We have no dogma. When one of our priests comes to give a talk, they almost always precede it by saying that this is simply something they are offering from their own point of view and experience and research. It is offered in the spirit of a free gift, for each of us to take from it what we wish, or what speaks to our hearts.

When you see two people on a movie screen, sometimes people say, they have good chemistry. Sometimes two people just seem to click for no special reason, like my friend Stephanie in California and I. It's a mystery. Love is the greatest and most ancient Mystery. In fact, our world as we know it today, could not exist without it. Nothing good can exist or endure without love. Love in its highest form is sacrifice. You have to give up something, usually ego, but sometimes it can be your very life. Women face this fact every time they prepare to give birth. The greatest act of love is to give up your own life or self, for that of your fellow man. There is no fiercer animal on the face of the planet than that of a mother fighting to protect her young.

If you look up love in a comprehensive dictionary, you come up with something interesting. As a suffix, it becomes, beloved. In Old English, Old German and Middle Dutch, it becomes, belief, believe and faith. Out of love comes faith and hope.

In a marriage, though, love is not enough. There must also be mutual respect, trust, support, etc. It has to be carefully nurtured. It will not survive abuse, being taken advantage of, neglect, or being taken for granted. These things come out of ego, as do desire and need. Again, it is about sacrifice. If you take the phrase, I want peace, for example, take out the I (individual), and want (need), you are left with peace.

Different tunes are always running through my head, so here's one I'd like to leave with you,

Don't know much about history,
Don't know much about biology,
Don't know much about my science book,
Don't know much about the French I took.

What I do know is that God loves you
And if you know that you love God, too
What a wonderful world this could be.